Never Ending Love

'My love for Benja is bigger than all the grief in the world. Even though he is not with me here on earth anymore, I feel a smile coming up, everytime i think of him.'

Foto Maartje Lute

This is my story

I lost my son, Benja. He was two months old when he died. When you lose a child, your life is over. That was what i used to believe, all my life.

It happend, my child died. But what I expect i was about to feel,  didn’t happend. My life wasn’t over. Actuallly I think I started living like i’ve never done before. Despite all the challenges I had to face the upcoming years, I felt that this was exactly how it was supposed to be.

I even feel confident enough to say, i feel more happy now than before he died. 

It took me a long time before I felt confident enough to say it out loud. I was afraid I lost my mind, I was afraid I didn’t loved him enough, I was afraid I was running away for my feelings. And most of all, I was afraid I would hurt other parents who lost a child. I started a search of why I felt the way I did. And now finally i know why! 

I made it my mission to share my story with everybody who want to hear it.

a short documentary of my life after Benja

The reason I started the 'Open to Change' sessions

Death doesn’t exists. There is no end to life, there is no end to you and there is no end to the life of your loved ones. The thing that does exist is a transition to another dimension, it’s like you just enter another room when you pass away. In ‘this room’ or other dimensions you continue growing and evolving who you really are. In that place you are still able to ‘see’ all your loved ones here on earth.

For centuries and centuries we believed that death was the end. The end of life, the end of you, the end of all your hopes and dreams. Some of us believed in a kind of afterlife, they called it heaven or hell. A place where you were judged about the life you just lived. And, if you were lucky, could rest in peace forever.

We believed that when somebody died, we were not able to see this person ever again. We believed that people who died at a young age didn’t ‘finish’ their lives. We believed that death randomly took the lives of people around him. We believed there wasn’t a connection anymore with the people who died end that we had to mourn in a certain way.

And of course It hurts immensely when you lose somebody. It would be very, very unusual when somebody you loved more than anything in the world dies and you are feeling kind of okay….

It happend to me.

My son Benja died at the age of 8 weeks. And against all odds, my life didn’t become a nightmare. Actually I started to value life even more so. I decided to live life from my heart and not my mind anymore. I quit my job, sold my house, ended my relationship and started my journey to find the answer to the question: ‘How ‘the bleep’ is it possible that I feel this way after the death of my son?

After a long journey, where I met so many people, read lots and lots of books, took all  kind of spiritual classes and talked to a lot of mediums I found the answer.

The bottom line is: Death doesn’t exists!

But what does? What is our purpose here on earth? Why is it that some people die so young? What lessons could be learned from that ‘horrible’ experience? If you’ve lost somebody, those are probably the questions you asks yourself over and over again. I would love to tell you we are ready to hear the answers. The belief system in which death should be feared and is the end of everything, is something humanity no longer have to accept. It’s something that no longer ‘serves’ us. We are ready for a new chapter, we are ready for another belief system.  

I want to teach you that grief, pain, despair are perfectly normal emotions when you lost someone, those things you need to feel. But when you allow yourself a new perspective on death, a big part of the grief disappears. You will merely look back with love, gratitude, pride, and happiness on the life of your loved one, how short or how long it lasted. Because you understand that nothing happens without a reason and because a short life is just as valuable as a life of 100 years. You are able to look at it this way, without a feeling of guilt. You will be able to live YOUR life the way you are supposed to do. And nothing, nothing will bring your deceased loved ones more joy than this.

There is no greater gift than feeling happy

I believe that finding (back) your happiness in life is the greatest gift you can give your deceased loved ones. There is nothing that they want more then to let you feel their love.

Everything is about making a choice

There are only two choices in life: Love or Fear. Choosing with your heart or with your rational mind. If that is something you understand everything will fall into place.

A larger perspective can help you

I want to give you a larger perspective on life and death because i believe that is something that will bring you more happiness in life.